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MUSIC PLAYING I worked in labor and delivery I was having all these amazing experiences delivering babies and bringing all these new little people into the world and all of that was extremely intriguing to me, I worked nights and took 40 hours a call One night I had worked my shift had gone home, and I was on call I was pretty sure that Wasn't going to get called in I had a cocaine habit and was pretty proud of that because it went on for several years and my husband had no idea So I thought it was amazing I had used so much Couldn't feel my teeth I couldn't feel my finger sand I was spun out of my mind I did get a call, and it was for an emergency c-section for twins So I went I forgot to wear shoes I was going 600 miles a houri a 30-mile-an-hour zone and I couldn't slow down I had absolutely no business trying to help deliver babies be in the operating room One little slip is Allie would have taken There's no way that God did not touch that situation I could've been the cause of those babies' deaths I decided that at that point it was out of control As I worked through the program the addiction recovery program and got to step 10 twas being able to be accountable to my husband the one person that I didn't want to judge me and to be able to tell him I want to use right now And I have access to what I want to use And I'm letting you know because that scares me Most people in my family didn'tSteven know I had an addiction People thought that the addict Adrienne who was actually who they met and who they knew and who they had come to their kids' birthdayparties--that was the addict Nobody actually had ever met Adrienne I don't think I had ever met Adrienne I just looked overt my husband said I don't know how to do this I've never done Thanksgiving sober before Right now I really don't want to because I'm not sure that I'ready to feel all of that I thought that I wanted him to just praise me and be so proud of me for saying that and just really pat me on the back, and he didn't He just said Thanks for telling me I'm sure you'll make the right decision There's a saying that says You don't have any control whether bird lands on your head, but you don't have to legit make a nest there And step 10 is not letting it make a nest The daily accountability parties checking in making sure that I'm doing things with intention And the intention is following the will of the Savior That was my first holiday sober by choice It was scary I can do scary things I can do hard things I am no longer my addictions I am a success story
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